Joey's Notes
by the-mew-mew-actresses
Summary: Repost: Just like average teenagers, the Yugi gang writes and passes notes too. But, some of them can be just a little on the strange side. Come and take a glimpse into the mind of Joey Wheeler.
1. I Heart Incas

**Toboe: "All right, so as the summary says this is a fic about the oh so infamous Joey Wheeler and his crazy notes!"**

**Chibi: "Yeah, we sort of realized that we had gone about posting it the wrong way."**

**Toboe: "So, after a long heated debate-"**

**Chibi: "What do you mean long? We ate a box of pocky and said, 'Hey, let's redo this thing!'"**

**Toboe: _scratches the back of her head, as a cheesy grin appears on her face _"Oh yeah, I forgot."**

**Chibi: _sweat-drops _"Oh, you little hoser!"**

**Toboe: "Anywayz, we hope, yinz, enjoy our refurbished fic!"**

**Chibi: "And, remember we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Although we would love to kidnap the entire cast, except Téa."**

**Chapter 1: I Heart Incas**

"Hey, Tristan! Hey, Tristan!", Yugi shouted enthusiastically as he ran into the classroom.

"What is it, Yugi?", Tristan yawned while lifting his head up from his desk.

"Joey wrote a note to us! Joey wrote a note to us!", the little spiky-head teen cheered happily.

"All right!", Tristan grinned. "I gotta read this!" He then took the folded up piece of paper from his much shorter friend and began to read aloud.

**It's Mach Pichu Time! Cha! Cha! Cha! **

Yugi and Tristan!

Lol, don't ask. I hate Spanish. It muy sucks hairy ass balls! IDK. Yo soy aburrido. Do do do do do. Tea's got a boyfriend! It's rich boy! Lol, yayyyyyyyy! Guess what? I have a baby gurl! Lol, she's my friend online. She's 15. She's my baby gurl and she calls me daddy! It's so cute. She's in Tennessee right now, so I can't talk ta her for a couple days. :( Lol. Boredness. Study hall. Nothin' ta do. Boredom has forsaken me. Mokuba requested ta be my friend on my space. Lol. IDK. Did ya know dat caribou can swim? Well, if ya didn't, ya do now. I can't wait 'til dis weekend. All ya can eat pizza! And Serenity is comin'! Yay! I hope Bakura can come. Somebody broke him. Let's be detectives and find out who it is. Ok. Ouch. My wrist cracked. I know ya heart my awesome, senseless notes. It smells like Lysol and coffee in here. It's gross. Somebody hiccupped. People are laughing. It's not dat funny. Arrrr! I was just thinking of Duke's pirate joke. It's drivin' me nuts! Lol. No pun intended. I saw an interesting' video on yesterday. It was about da gurl's bathroom. It was a real knee-slappa. It made me wanna slap my knee and adopt a giraffe. One time at Battle City, I fell, and Kaiba asked me what my malfunction was. I heart duelin'. Serenity's applying' to be Kaiba's new secretary. …………..Why?………….. Dere are 14 little dots on eitha side of da word "Why." Yes. I counted dem. I have 12 minutes left. Da school is goin' to blow up at 10:05 am. I saw it on a bathroom wall. Let's build a nuclear fallout shelta. It will be enthrallin'. OMG, like I love English vocab. Well g2g. K bye.

Joey

"Um, maybe Joey should consider bringing a magazine next time?", Yugi sweat dropped.

"Yeah,…a magazine", Tristan sweat dropped too.

**Toboe: "Well, that's it for now!"**

**Chibi: "Hope you hosers liked it!"**

**Toboe: "We're going to blow something up with Bakura now, but please-"**

**Chibi: "Review!"**

**Toboe and Chibi: "S****ayounara****!"**


	2. Apple Pie Is Delicious

**Toboe: "Well, it's your lucky day all Yu-Gi-Oh! fans out there,-"**

**Chibi: "Because you get a double dose of our fic!"**

**Toboe: _sigh _"We were supposed to blow up things with Bakura today."**

**Chibi: _teary-eyed _"But, stupid Marik just had to go and electrocute himself,-"**

**Toboe: "And, now were sitting here in the emergency room."**

**Chibi: "Listening to Ishizu lecture us about how we should be consistent with Marik's ADHD medication-"**

**Toboe: "And, watching Bakura send a vending machine to the Shadow Realm,-"**

**Chibi: "Because it ran out of ruffled potato chips."**

**Toboe: _perks up _"Actually, that part was pretty funny!"**

**Chibi: _big cheesy smile on her face _"Yeah, let's go see if we can get him to send a toilet there too!"**

**Toboe: "Okay, but before we go… We hope yinz enjoy our second installment of Joey's Notes and remember-"**

**Chibi: "We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Although we would love to kidnap the entire cast,-"**

**Toboe: "Except Téa."**

**Toboe and Chibi: "Hey, Bakura!" **

**Chapter 2:**** Apple Pie Is Delicious**

"Hey, Tristan! Hey, Tristan!", Yugi shouted enthusiastically, again, as he ran into the classroom.

"What's up, Yugi, Tristan asked over his shoulder.

"Joey-", he began to say, but stopped as he saw who Tristan was talking to. "Oh, hi, Tea! How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks. Just had a little cold.", she replied with a wave and a grin. "Anyway. What you got there, Yugi?"

"Um, just a note from Joey", he mumbled while clambering into his seat.

"A note from, Joey?", she cocked her head questionably.

"Not another one", Tristan groaned.

"Why, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh, you'll see", Tristan reassured as Yugi began to read the note aloud.

**All Hail Atahawpa!**

(Da Incan Ruler)

Peoples who read dis!

Me and Duke are definitely bringin' Red Bull to da all ya can eat pizza ting. Anywayz, I'm confused. Only old women like me. Ishizu likes me, but she's 24 or somethin' and da granny from my space likes me and she's like 72! Then HarpieGurl was talkin' ta me again last night and told me she wanted ta go back out wit me. I decided I liked her again and told her dat. Den she said, "Nah ya don't, ya don't like me, I've changed a lot." It's like, fine I won't go back out with ya. Stupid face. Guys like rich boy should be sent ta Antarctica ta be eaten by pola bears, walruses, and da like. I accidentally spilled some toothpaste on my uniform dis mornin'. I smell minty fresh! Today my study hall room smells like coffee and nail polish remova. Anotha new scent. It's like unwrappin' a gift for my nose every mornin'! Ahhhh the aroooooomaaaaaa! Like on da Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial. Yay! Wooooo! Oh, I'm a goofy gooba, YEAH! I LOVE NACHOS! Sometimes, my fingas smells! Sunday mornin', I woke up and thought 'bout cremation. Today, I woke up and thought 'bout sugar snap peas. I'm wack. But not wiggety wack, just da regular kind. Da school didn't blow up at 10:05 am yesterday. Whoeva wrote it on da bathroom wall should blow up at 2:04 pm today. No reason except for da fact dat I like da numbas 2 and 4. Neva wear a sombrero to a memorial service. Remember, ya are responsible for your own actions. Recycle. Sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face when I said dat!

Da probability dat dis is da end of my note is 99.99.

Fricken Awesome Mutt

(Ya know ya heart my fish!)

"Whoa", Tea uttered with her eyes REALLY big.

"Yeah", Yugi sweat dropped.

"But-"

"Don't even try to explain it, Tea", Tristan sweat dropped too.

**Toboe: _holding her sides in mad laughter _"Dude, I can't believe you actually sent the toilet and the guy who was sitting on it to the Shadow Realm!"**

**Chibi: _rolling on the ground, laughing her hinny off _"Bakura, you are the Tomb Robber!"**

**Bakura: _smug look on his face, because he's all proud of himself _"It's all in a day's work. Now, let's go send Kaiba's three Blue Eyes there too."**

**Chibi: _back to being somewhat normal_ "Oh, sorta like keep-away, right?"**

**Bakura: "Bingo!"**

**Toboe: _back to being somewhat normal also _"You've been watching Yu Yu Hakusho again: haven't you, 'Kura?"**

**Bakura: "Yes, I have, but that's not the point-"**

**Chibi: "Who do you think is cooler Kurama or Hiei?"**

**Bakura: "Both. Now let's go make some mayhem, my mew mew actresses!"**

**Toboe and Chibi: _salute the mischievous Yami _"Yes, sir!"**

**Chibi: "But, before we go-"**

**Toboe: _turns to the readers_ "Please review!"**

**Chibi: "And,-"**

**Toboe: "Come on, Marik, we're gonna go annoy, Rich Boy!"**

**Marik: _runs out of a random room wearing a hospital gown_ "Oh, boy!"**

**Toboe, Chibi, Bakura, and Marik: "Sayounara!" **


	3. My Name Is Webster

**Toboe: "Well, we're back for another exciting chapter of Joey's Notes!"**

**Chibi: "We'd like to take a moment and thank all of you-"**

**Bakura: _waiting in the car with the windows up _"By Ra, hurry up! It's hotter than the desert in here!"**

**Chibi: _shakes head_ "We just have to take him to Joy's with us, don't we!"**

**Toboe: _innocent look on her face_ "What he's the one with all the money and you're the one who wants a life-size Sandrock model so bad!"**

**Chibi: "Good point."**

**Toboe: _claps hands together_ "Right! Now as my pocky loving pal was saying before,…we'd like to take a moment and thank all of you how reviewed our story."**

**Chibi: "This shout out is for crystal ice614 and Psyco Anime Luver!"**

**Toboe: "We hope you enjoy our latest installation and, as always,-"**

**Chibi: "We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Although we would love to kidnap the entire cast,-" **

**Toboe: "Except Téa." **

**Chapter 3:** **My Name Is Webster**

"So, I said to the guy, 'Yeah, well, you momma!'", Duke finished one of his so-called amazing stories.

"Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!"

"It's not that funny, Tristan", Tea sweat dropped.

"Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!", Tristan continued to laugh his ass off.

"You obviously don't understand the complexity of the male sense of humor, Tea", Duke said in his usual suave style; yes, the hair flip was included.

"Obviously", Tea replied bluntly as she observed the still laughing idiot.

"Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!"

"Grrrr… Tristan, **STOP** laughing!", Tea finally snapped then and…

"Jesus, Tea, your gonna kill him!", Duke yelled as he tried to peel a ragging Tea off of Tristan.

"No, I'm not!", she screamed, "I'm just going to asphyxiate him a little!"

"Acccccccck!"

"Hey, guys, what's…" of course this is the time that Yugi choose to enter the classroom "go-ing on?"

"Oh," Tea froze in mid-strangle "Yugi, we're just a-"

"Tea, was just going off the deep-end, that's what", Duke smirked as he folded hi arms.

"Duke!", Tea began to fume again.

"Hey, what you got there, Yugi?", Tristan changed the subject; yes, he has regained consciousness.

"Oh, nothing", Yugi rung the white piece of paper nervously.

"It's another one of Joey's note, isn't it?", Tea groaned.

"Ummmmmm…"

"One of Joey's, huh?", Duke cocked his head to the side, with his hands on his hips. "Tristan told me about these. Said they were weirdest things he ever read."

"It is", Tristan mumbled.

"Really?", Duke chuckled, "Than I gotta read it. Yugi," he held out his hand "give it here."

"Are are you sure, Duke?", Yugi held out the note with a shaky hand.

"Of course, I am", he smirked. Then Duke unfolded the note of doom and began to read aloud.

**Random Note Time!**

OK so I know ya just heart dese notes. My study hall teacha just exclaimed "Oh, cacka!" Sometimes she randomly exclaims tings like dat. She gives me da heepy-jeebies! Here's a song! (in a deep Johnny Cash voice) I'm a Ford truck man! Dat's all I drive! I ain't got no boundaries! I don't compromise! Ain't no doubt my King of da mountain's built Ford tough! OK, dat was great. If ya must know, here's dat pirate joke of Duke's: A pirate walks inta a bar, right? He has a steerin' wheel on his crotch. So, da bartender's like, why da freak are ya wearin' a steerin' wheel on your crotch! And, da pirate says, "Arrrr! It's drivin' me nuts!" Ja ja ja! Dat was full of huma. Maybe not a knee slappa dough. I wanna hug Karine da Kuriboh again at Rich Boy's Battle City. And yes, he did try ta make be wear dat ting, he even offered me a pizza ta do it. Ouch. My arm is killin' me. I fricken pulled a fricken large fricken muscle in my fricken arm…fricken…TUNA! I want HarpieGurl and/or da 72-year-old grandma on my space ta sex me all ova! I know ya totally wanted ta hear dat, but too bad, ya CAN"T! Ya are deaf/blind. How are ya reading' dis? OMG, YA HAVE SUPA POWAS! Well, you're in luck. Actually, you're not, I lied. I am Lord Dragonflyteeth and Serenity's Princess Exoskeleton. We will defeat your horny asses! I like trailin' dots…………

Lord Dragonflyteeth

"Oh, my God", Duke whispered. "Oh, my God! What is wrong with Joey!"

"Everything", Yugi, Tea, and Tristan answered all at the same time.

**Toboe: "Well, that's it for now all you anime dudes and chicas!"**

**Chibi: "Again, we hope you hosers liked it!"**

**Toboe: "So, please-"**

**Chibi: "Review!"**

**Marik: _honking the horn over and over again _"Get a move on! I'm starting to melt!"**

**Toboe: _screaming at the top of her lungs _"Good! Then we can sell Marik popsicles to all your freakin' fan girls and maybe, just maybe, make some money off your miserable behind!"**

**Chibi:_ blinking_ "Whooooaaaa."**

**Marik:_ gets out of car and walks up to Toboe_**

**Toboe: _arms crossed_ "What are you going to send me to the Shadow Realm!"**

**Marik: _puts a random gold medal around her neck _"Nice comeback!"**

**Bakura: _hanging out of the car window _"I think we're starting to rub off on you, Toboe."**

**Toboe:_ shakes head _"Whatever. Hey, Marik, can you carry that to the car for me." _points to the far corner_**

**Marik:_ confused look _"Are car seat? What do we need a car seat for?"**

**Bakura: _still hanging out of the car window _"Don't tell me the damn Pharaoh's coming with us!"**

**Chibi: _climbing into the passenger's seat _"Yeah, we're picking him up on the way. Why, 'Kura"**

**Bakura: _cussing in Egyptian_**

**Toboe: _climbs into the driver's side _"What is he saying."**

**Marik: _gets in with the car seat_ "You don't want to know."**

**Toboe:_ sighs_ "Fine! Let's just go!" _starts the engine_**

**Toboe, Chibi, Marik: "S****ayounara****!" **

**Bakura: _still cussing in Egyptian _**


	4. You Can Achieve Anything When You Have

**Toboe: _running up the stairs inside Yugi's house _"Whazzup, all yinz anime dudes and chicas!"**

**Chibi: _skipping behind Toboe _"Well, helloooo and how are you hosers!"**

**Toboe: _running down the hall _"We're back for another exciting chapter of Joey's Notes!"**

**Chibi: _skipping behind Toboe _"We'd like to take this time when the baka Tomb Robber and Tomb Watcher aren't around to thank all of you who have read and reviewed our story!"**

**Toboe: _bursts through Yami's bedroom door and throws herself onto the bed _"This shout out is for crystal ice614, Psyco Anime Luver, Valinor's Twilight, and Blonde Tenshi!" **

**Chibi: _plops down in Yami's beanbag chair_ "We hope you enjoy are latest installation and, as always-"**

**Toboe: "We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Although we would love to kidnap the entire cast,-" **

**Toboe and Chibi: "Except Téa."**

**Toboe: _turns head to the side _"Ready, Yami?"**

**Chibi: _throws arms into the air _"Road trip!"**

**Yami:_ sitting beside Toboe on the bed _"Don't you ever knock?"**

**Toboe: _smacks forehead _"That's what I forgot!" **

**Chapter 4:**** You Can Achieve Anything When You Have Bacon In Your Pockets**

"So, 'Kura, what's it like in America?", Tristan asked everyone's favorite Brit, who just so happened to be on vacation for the past couple of weeks.

"Well, it's quite nice!", Ryou answered with a polite smile. "The cities there aren't as crowded and-"

"And, the babes are all top-shelf!", Duke interrupted, a smug look on his face. "Aren't they, "Kura?"

Poor Ryou, his face turned ten shades of red just then, "Ac-Ac-Actually, D-Duke, th-they're-"

"Stop it, Duke!", Téa, Ms. Goody-Goody herself, stepped in. "Can't you see that you're making him uncomfortable!"

"What!", Duke threw his hands up defensively. "I was only asking him if the rumors about American women were true or not!"

"Is that all you think about!", she snapped.

"At least I'm not a friendship junkie like you!", dice boy spat back.

"Excuse me! What's wrong with valuing-"

"So, 'Kura, did you hook up with anyone while you were there?", Tristan asked, oblivious to the fact that Téa and Duke were about to destroy each other

"Tristan!", Téa huffed. "How can you-"

"Ac-Ac-Actually," Ryou stuttered "I-I-"

"Bakura!", Téa gasped.

"Whoa", was all Tristan and Duke could mange to say, their eyes as big as saucers.

"No, it's not like that!", the albino teen spoke frantically. "You see, I meet these two girls, Toboe and Chibi, and-"

"Bakura!", Téa gasped again.

"Whoa", was all Tristan and Duke could manage to say once more, their eyes still as big as saucers.

"And, all we did was hang out and they showed me around and they were craziest blokes I've ever met!", he blurted out.

"Oh!"

"Is that all?"

"Man, "Kura you are a big loser."

Ryou did an anime fall, "Thank you, Duke. I think highly of you as well."

"Speaking of people who are messed up in the head, here comes Yugi", Tristan announced upon seeing the starburst teen enter the classroom.

"And, it looks like he's got another one of Joey's notes", Duke added, noticing how pale his friend looked.

"One of Joey's notes?", Ryou cocked his head to the side questionably.

"Yeah," Tristan sighed, taking the folded up piece of white paper from the dazed Yugi "you gotta hear this." And so, Tristan began to read out loud:

**Bing! Pow! It's Da Domino High Check-in!**

Caribou Lovas of da World!

I'm bored, so it's note time! Mokuba called yesterday and left a message. Apparently Tristan signed me up ta dress as Karine da Kuriboh again for Rich Boy's next tournament. I'm supposed ta be dere at 12:45! I hope I finish my third breakfast by den! Lol. Stupid Tristan! J/K. I have 30 minutes left. I'm so bored! Blah! Money Bags was talkin' ta me 'bout Serenity yestaday. She's gonna be his new secretary. She justs wants ta get inta Kaiba Land fow free. I'm definitely not sharin' my pocky with her anymore! Uh-uh. I'm gonna share it w/ Yug and Tristan! We're gonna get sugar highs and run around da park singin', "Cookin' Is So Fun!" Lol. Mokuba told me dat his brotha likes tongs! EWWWW! Okay, I wanna change da subject. So…how's Yami? Did he go on any cool adventas lately? Yug should send him ta China and buy him a pet panda! Remind me ta tell ya dis blonde joke. It's too long ta write and I'm very lazy. 17 minutes now! Time ta draw all ova my face!

Da Monsta Dat Lives In Yow Closet

"Oh, my!", Ryou exclaimed, hand over his mouth in a dramatic fashion.

'_Mommy!'_, Yami Bakura whimpered from within in his soul room.

**Toboe: "That's it for now!"**

**Chibi: "Again, we hope your hosers liked it!"**

**Toboe: "So, please-"**

**Chibi: "Review!"**

**Toboe: _looks in her rearview mirror_ "Everyone strapped in back there!"**

**Yami: _in the car seat with his arms crossed _"Why, must I use this Ra forsaken thing!"**

**Marik: _evil grin _"Because we wouldn't want the girls getting in trouble with the state authorities."**

**Bakura: _evil grin _"Now, let's make sure your seatbelt's nice and tight." _yanks on said strap_**

**Yami: "Acccccckkkkkk!"**

**Toboe: "'Kura, don't make me come back there!" _smacks Bakura with the flyswatter she had on the dashboard_**

**Chibi: _shakes head _"This is going to be a long trip."**

**Toboe, Chibi, Bakura, Marik, and Yami: "S****ayounara****!" **


End file.
